Meeting with Pastor D

Smith Mortuary matched our family up with Pastor D for Lillian's service.  When they told us about him, they kept hinting at him being a very different type of guy.  We would tell them that we were just wanting a short and sweet service and they would say, "Make sure you make it clear to him that this is what you want."  The first time they said that, I didn't think much of it but then they kept repeating similar statements.  We asked if maybe we should find someone else to perform the service and they insisted that he is a great pastor, just a little boisterous and that we should most definitely stick with him.  It was all very confusing to me because one minute they seemed to be trying to warn us but the next insisted that this guy was great.  I didn't really put much thought into it since my mind was elsewhere but I did go into the meeting a little wary.

We had previously made plans for everyone to be at our house for the meeting.  It just so happened that this was the same night that all of those awful storms and tornadoes were supposed to sweep through our neck of the woods.  The meeting was on Saturday, the visitation was Sunday, and the service was to be on Monday afternoon.  We all headed downstairs to discuss what we were wanting for her service.  There we all were sitting in our basement all of us wishing to be somewhere else, except for Pastor D.  From the minute he walked in our door, there was something so comforting about him.  He greeted with a hug, not a handshake.  He somehow could relate to every single person in the room on a personal level.  This big teddy bear guy had such a loving and caring demeanor.  I liked him.    He started off with saying how he could already tell that that our family was a wonderful and loving family.  He could see that everyone was so supportive and loving and since he is experienced in funerals, that is not always the case.  He complimented our hospitality in welcoming him  our family through this time of need and reassured us that it will be a great service  (which it was).  He first wanted to know the basics about Brian and I.  He asked how we met, some of our background, who are siblings were, how my pregnancy was, what happened, and some highlights of Lillian's time here.  He went around the room to get to know each and every person individually.  He didn't seem to mind that there were impending storms headed our way, he took his time to make a connection with everyone.  He somehow could relate with each person or knew something that made it feel like we were closer than just strangers who had just met over tragic circumstances.  For example, he was familiar with some people's workplaces, he leased a copier from my mother in law's company, he could speak a little Spanish with my Spanish majoring sister, and he liked my sister's yippy little chihuahuas.  I couldn't help but feel more relaxed and reassured that we were in the right hands.  This was going to be a wonderful ceremony, I just knew it.

After making rounds of getting to know everyone, Pastor D came back to Brian and I.  We talked about how we met, how long we'd been together, how Lillian's pregnancy went, how she got her name, and what it meant.  We basically just visited so he could get to know us and speak for us at the funeral.  After hearing all our stories, he told us a basic idea of what he had in mind to speak about.  He wanted to tell everyone mostly about Brian and I's relationship and what Lillian meant to us.  I asked him to include the story of how we finally settled on a name and what Lillian means (Innocence, Purity, Beauty).  He then proceeded to tell us what he had in mind as far as scriptures and how it is relevant to us.  He asked if it would be alright if he told the story about Mary and how, as a mother, she too lost her son.  He went on to explain that no matter how many funerals he's attended or been in, there is no greater pain than of those who are losing a child, no matter what age.  Pastor D started the story of Easter and how it related to ours.  I started tuning out a little and thinking to myself.  I first noticed that Lillian wasn't moving about a week prior to that day (timeline-friday through sunday- little, no movement, monday-dr appt, tuesday-delivery, wed-recovery, thur-released from hospital, fri-recovery at home, and now up to saturday).  I started doing the math in my head.  Looking back, I'm guessing that Lillian passed away Thursday night/Friday morning which happened to be on Good Friday.  For those of you that aren't well rehearsed in scripture (which I definitely am not) this was when Jesus was crucified.  The reason we celebrate Easter Sunday is because it was the day he was found to be resurrected.  Up until that point in time, I had never put two and two together that Lillian had passed away over the time that Christ did.  A light bulb went off in my head and I couldn't believe that Pastor D had made the relation and it kept getting weirder after that.  There were a lot of correlations and parallels with us that seemed too obvious to ignore.  Pastor D then went on to explain the pain that Mary must have felt to watch her son suffering and dying there up on the cross.  How heartbroken she must have been to have her child being accused with such hate and being in so much pain.  Immediately I was taken back to the hospital room with Lillian in my arms.  I saw my daughter's body so broken and tattered.  No mother should ever have to see her child like that.  I kept her covered to protect her dignity so no one would see my perfect little girl like that.  I was brought back to the present conversation and was immediately choked up.  I spoke up to tell everyone that I know how Mary must have felt, to see her son's body so beat up and wounded.  I felt that sort of pain with Lillian.  I know it was two very different stories but at the moment, I felt connected with her.    So, it was decided that yes, he could speak of Mary's pain of losing her son.  There was just too much paralleled with our stories not to.  I felt comfort in hearing that story and I now hold a different respect and understanding for her.  I was so grateful for Pastor D having such an open heart and allowing God to minister to us and others at her funeral.  I felt such a great connection to him and am so glad he was the one to do our ceremony.  God had laid it on his heart to relate our story to Easter and it seemed so comforting and I was so dumbfounded at the timing of it all.  

I'm going to jump ahead to something that Pastor said at the funeral because it is also such an awesome parallel of our story to Easter.  As we were at the grave site, something hit him that we didn't discuss ahead of time.  He said, "You know what I just realized.  Think about the time of when Jesus was crucified and what was happening afterward.  What happened?  There was a giant storm and earthquake after his death.  What just happened a few days ago?  We had the biggest storm that we've had in years."  I sat there in shock with all this information.  I couldn't believe that we were so special that God would send all of these comparisons with his son's story just to give us the reassurance that He's still in charge.  

Please don't think I'm trying to relate myself to Mary or my daughter to Jesus, because I most certainly am not.  I don't know the entirety of why it was revealed that there were so many comparisons in our story but I do know that we were so reassured to know that God always has been, still is, and always will be in control.  I believe that he revealed these things to us to put our minds at ease and our hearts at peace.  Our daughter really is as special as we know her to be.