Adios 2012

Man, I'm so happy to see 2012 come to an end.  I know I shouldn't say this but I'm SO done with 2012.  It just sucked.  It more than sucked.  We had lost so many loved ones last year, cried many tears, gave many hugs, and it was just depressing.  That being said, SUCK IT 2012!!! I'm DONE with you!!! Phew, I feel better.  Haha, just typing that makes me feel better.

I'm ready to bring in a new year with my family having many wonderful blessings in our future.  I whole heartedly believe that we will have a fantastic year coming up.  Today I was thinking about Lillian and how we've come SO far, like leaps and bounds far.  We are coming up on 9 months.  In some senses it feels like April was decades ago, in other senses it feels like it is not so far away.  We have a new normal in our house and it includes Lillian in as many aspects as possible.  We had a great Christmas with exactly ZERO meltdowns from me!  I'm pretty proud of that one.  I dreaded all of the other holidays before this one but with Christmas, it was different.  I wasn't afraid of it.  I wanted to enjoy our family time and traditions.  I prayed (and had others praying for us) for a wonderful Christmas, and it was just that.  Simply wonderful.  I carried a peace around in my heart that my baby is in Heaven.  I had no sadness whatsoever.  It's hard to explain, but I know that it is the peace that only comes from God.  I hope it's here to stay.  I haven't had the overwhelming feeling of grief and sadness in a while and I hope to keep it that way.

I started to feel a little sad today but Lillian sent plenty of ladybugs to get me out of it and I'm doing well.  Even as I'm watching t.v. right now, there was a ladybug pinata.  Random, but I'll take it :P  Love my ladybugs.

I apologize if this post is super random and out there.  It's currently 12:30 a.m.  and I can't sleep so I decided blogging would be a nice remedy to my boredom.

Thank you all for the continued support and understanding, we are making it.  I'm ready for 2013 and all of the wonderful things that are in store.  Please keep us and our family in your prayers as we are ready for some happiness.  I know God is in charge and will carry us through anything.  I just pray that "anything" is a happier route next year.

God Bless and Happy New Year!