My family, Brian and I spent the weekend out of town for my uncle's funeral. I couldn't believe that after us losing Lillian, and some other family members losing their precious twins along with a special person in their family, that now my uncle was, too, joining our heavenly family. I can't help but wonder when this chaos will end. I desperately plea with God to please please keep our family safe. I can't imagine any of our family members feeling an ounce more grief or pain. It is reassuring that one day we will be reunited with all of these wonderful people, but until then, we will miss them dearly.
at the service...
After a very special ceremony for a very wonderful man, I stood next to Brian clutching his arm. I leaned into him and pictured what my uncle and Lillian and all of our other family members may be experiencing right now. I prayed for some sign from Lillian. I wanted to feel her close to me. Sometimes I feel selfish for asking for comfort over and over but I miss my baby! ! I started feeling saddened after thinking about where we were just 6 short months ago. We were the family sitting in the hard, uncomfortable chairs on the fake green grass carpet and under neath the tacky tent. I hate that my cousins and aunt are having to do this right now and feel such deep pain. I hate funerals...
We bowed our head in a closing prayer and then were dismissed. I turned around to take a little walk. It's a beautiful cemetery. There were many old headstones that had lots of character. I started walking back the way we came in and the FIRST head stone I saw was one that said "Lillian". I had been expecting a ladybug but her name will most certainly do! My baby is always with me. I know she's in great hands and especially now so since her great uncle is with her.
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