Bumblebee

As most of you already know, Lillian is a big sister.  I say "is" instead of "going to be" because this little baby is only 6 weeks old and as big as a sweet pea but he/she is here.  I don't believe in a certain time where a pregnancy turns into a baby.  This baby is a being and has a soul.  We have prayed many times that this little one will get to stay with us.  It is such a hard thing to describe on how I feel about the situation.  Deep down I want to believe that we deserve to have a healthy screaming baby in October, but another part of me knows that nothing in this life is guaranteed. Lillian definitely had a hand in this baby being here.  I have a wonderful testimony of how Lillian has helped this baby come into our lives.

When Brian and I decided that we were ready for our family to expand, we discussed it with Lillian.  It sounds a little bizarre but I don't really care.  I talk to my daughter like she is sitting with me because I know she can hear me.  On one of our weekly visits to the cemetery we told Lillian, "Okay baby.  Mommy and Daddy are ready for another baby.  Can you ask God for a healthy little sibling?  Soon?"
We hugged each other and went home.  Later that day, I decided that I needed to go to Goodwill.  This is such a crazy part because I just got this idea in my head that I wanted to go look for a certain piece of furniture for a project and once I got the idea, I needed to leave NOW!  I got ready and was about to leave Brian at home because he wasn't getting around fast enough.  He decided to go with me in case I needed help.  I was looking for a table for the dining room to make us a coffee bar.  When we got there, we didn't have any luck finding furniture so I decided to look through the books to see if there was anything that I couldn't live without.  I found a children's book to add to our library and then got in line to pay for it.  I was disappointed that our hunt had ended with only a book and was second guessing whether we should wait in line to buy one measly book.  I turned around to talk to Brian and the first thing I saw was a little baby cap with ladybugs all over it.  I snatched it up and showed Brian what I found.  "Look!  A ladybug hat!  Maybe it's from Lillian, for our new baby."
So I decided to wait in line and purchase my book and baby cap.  I talked to Brian on the way home and wondered aloud if this was a sign that Lillian had heard us and that she was with us and wanted a sibling too. If that's not a clear enough sign, every SINGLE day until I found out I was pregnant, I received multiple ladybugs.  I have never ever gotten multiple ladybugs every day for such a long stretch of time.  It was as if Lillian was saying, "I hear you mom and dad.  I'll be here with you until you can see for yourself."  People sent me small gifts of ladybugs, I saw them online and in books, they were just everywhere.  It was about 3 weeks straight that this went on until I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.  My heart was pounding and I was in disbelief that this actually happened.  My little girl does big things.  She still amazes me on how much she continues to influence our lives.  She is such a blessing to us and I know she's so happy that she is now a big sister to a little 6 week old sweet pea named Bumblebee <3

Ladybug cap

This is how I told Brian that I was pregnant again.  His face was priceless!

Also, here's the details:  I haven't been to the doctor yet.  I will call her soon and see when she wants to see me.  Last time I talked to her she said we could come in as early as 6 weeks but I'm leaning towards waiting until the normal time of about 10 weeks.  I've calculated my due date and I'm due October 20th, which is a week before my birthday.  We found out a few days before Valentine's day and I'm due around my birthday.  Perfection.