*Giant sigh of relief*  We are past 34 weeks!  I know it's not some magic number but there's just something about passing that number of 34 that makes me breathe a little easier.  As we approached that milestone, I couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed.  I kept thinking about how long this pregnancy has taken to get this far.  I still can't completely fathom how we managed to get through the worst time in our lives.  Just thinking about it still gets me choked up.  It's so hard to describe the loss of a baby you never got a chance to "meet."  If I were on the outside looking in, I know I wouldn't understand it.  Evan's pregnancy has been a time of a lot of healing and even more joy.  He reminds us that there is good in this world, there are healthy babies, we will receive blessings.  He's done so much for our broken hearts.  Even though being pregnant again brings up a lot of grief and emotions, I think it's necessary.  We so badly need a little one to hold and love on and kiss.  I'm so thankful my husband had the same feeling about the situation that I did.  We were both devastated over the loss of our precious girl but we couldn't bring her back to us.  However, we could give her the gift of siblings.  We both wanted to have children as soon as possible.  I never thought I would say this but I'm thankful that I had a cesarean.  The c section forced us to wait at least 9 months before thinking of adding to our family again.  It was SUCH a blessing for us to wait.  It took me a while to get past the intense grief and the newness of the situation.  Even though I would have never believed it back then, it was definitely best that we have some time to heal.  It's been 17 months (wow!)  since we had our daughter.  I still have problems wrapping my head around the thought that we are parents to two children.  I'm so in love with both of our children and ache to hold both of them.  I tell Lillian that every time we kiss her brother, we'll be sending her a kiss too.  I know there's a connection between the two of them since she helped bring him into this world.  I've wondered if she's already met him.  

We are so so so ready to meet this little man.  I'm praying he decides to make an early appearance because my patience is running out.  This is week 35 and we get to see Evan every week now with our ultrasounds.  He is growing and doing perfect.  He weighs about 5 pounds now and has a full head of hair!  37 weeks is technically considered full term so anywhere between 2-5 weeks, our son will be joining us.  I'm totally in disbelief at that.  I don't think I'll believe that he's actually coming until he's in my arms.  Even then, I'll probably pinch myself.  I cannot wait!